


Let loose a love // all pent up and painfully out of place

by Buttercup_ghost



Series: Might be a sinner and I might be a saint | I'd like to be proud, but somehow I'm ashamed [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Falling In Love, M/M, Makoto-centric, Murder, Naegi-centric, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, Trials
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-24 01:43:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10731552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttercup_ghost/pseuds/Buttercup_ghost
Summary: Makoto naegi has been betrayed by the people he loved all his life.Or; the four times naegi trusts, and the four times he gets hurt because of it





	Let loose a love // all pent up and painfully out of place

The first time it happened, you did not know it happened.

You always crush hard and fast, you supposed. You always got embarrassed easily, any praise bringing a blush to your cheeks. So really, what surprise is it that you felt your heart flutter, in a less than platonic way, sometimes.

And her half smiles and light blushes as she steals glances from afar, make it impossible to not fall at least a little.

(And will her it is falling, falling, _falling_ , a hopeless love, yet you still doesn't know that.)

She followed her sister around, both tending to be a bit outliers, and in honesty it was a little concerning to you. From what you could tell they didn't have the best home life, and though you trusted them both, with them being twins he was worried about mukuro falling in junkos shadow, a loss of identity. But you pushed those thoughts away, for now, there was nothing to worry about, right? Junko seemed perfectly balanced, from a distance.

  
(From a distance.)

 

 

 

  
As spears pierce through her body, despite not having those memories of longing glances, you feel a tinge of _something_.

She betrayed you long ago. Hope should not love a doll of despair.

(Later, when kirigiri whispers her name in you ears, that feeling of _something_ returns. It almost feels like you're free falling, waiting for an impact, once again, though you don't remember that feeling. You learn the flavor of this love, and it's a hopelessly blurring grey taste.)

 

 

 

The second time is hidden behind smiles.

It isn't the first time you fell for her, memories of it dissolved into nothing, but you fall just as hard, maybe even harder. You stay by her, reassure her, take her pinky in yours as you promise you **both** will get out of here, _together_.

  
(She ends up dead in your bathroom sink and you've _failed_. You wonder if it should be you in her place. You think it should.)

She tried to frame you, use you. Everyone blamed you, any trust you gained gone as they accuse you of killing a girl you loved. No, not loved, _love_ , because even now you can't shake this feeling from your chest, even as betrayal is added to it.

  
(To add salt to the wound, it's Leon who did it, the secret slight crush of yours you had on him, small and harmless seeming, is crushing. Ha, irony. You can't look away as balls belt him, you can't block out his screams. And all you can think is _why why why_. You can't even hate the one who killed her, and it's not _fair_. So you tell yourself that it's not his fault, despite whether or not you believe that, and blame the mastermind.)

 

 

The third time is when he investigates with you, and you think, maybe he's trying to be nice. He's still pretentious, smirking and acting like he doesn't care, but there's something soft there, you think. You _want_ to think.

But at the trail he admits to framing syo, and you feel– anger. Touko _trusted_ him, **you** trusted him, aganist your better judgement, but he was really just using you both.

And as he tears into touko and syo alike, you glare, upset that he could do this to her, too.

(The weight on your chest increases, and it feels like you're dying. Your heart still flutters at him, and you hate yourself for it just a bit more. Eventually there's no blame on togami, only on yourself in your heart.)

 

The fourth time hurts the most, as if being the last leaf to be torn from your clover heart. You had faith in her, deciding not to call her out on her thinly veiled lie. But as your demise grows closer and closer, eyes shifting towards the side, looking at her face, the face of the girl who you fell in love with, again, you realized, _she had no plan._ You were going to die here unless someone else intervened.

(And someone else _did_ , a program in the end the only one who didn't burn you.

As you fall you can't help but thinking, this is exactly what love felt like.

A free fall you couldn't escape.)


End file.
